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[Thoughts]

shutter_hime in ghostsugar_rp

Hold Me in Your Hands [Closed to Ulf]

Kokoro felt somewhat bad about how she and Sol had parted, but only somewhat. While the girl regularly did her best to act her nicest with everyone, she had trouble with Sol. Sol, however nice she was, fraternized with the enemy, and Kokoro couldn't forgive her for that. Not after what she'd started to remember. Not after what she knew, besides, the journal entry had annoyed her - sure, paint Kokoro like the wolf, while Sol in sheep's clothing cried about how meeeeeaaaaaaaaaan Kokoro had been. Hmph!

What if Sol was just like Suguru, and was checking up on his handiwork? Or worse, making sure Kokoro wouldn't be a threat to his secret? It was hard to think easy and carefree schoolgirl thoughts when one had to worry about being attacked in the night (or day, it didn't seem like Suguru was that picky). So, after watching three Studio Ghibli movies, a drama she promised Sachi she'd look into, and three bars of Lotte chocolate, Kokoro found herself at Ulf's door.

She was just here for a quick hug, she told herself firmly. She wasn't going to say anything weird and make Ulf be even more suspicious of her recent change in behavior. Kokoro rapped on the door a few times and stood stiffly. "Ulf-kun? Are you in?"
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Kokoro was in luck: for once Ulf was in his room, feeding a sudden wave of homesickness with pepperkaker and DVDs of his favourite terrible Norwegian soap opera. He'd heard the footsteps in the hallway and had been a bit surprised that there was a girl wandering around this end of the dorms, but then Kokoro had rapped on his door and it all made sense.

"Ja, ja! Come in~" he called, reaching onto his bed to pull another pillow down beside him for her to sit on. "What's up, Kokomo?"
"Are you still offering that shoulder I asked for?" Kokoro asked as she entered his room. He looked comfortable, but maybe comforting a girl, even if she was a friend, would be uncomfortable.

"I can go... you know, if you're busy..." Kokoro fiddled with her necklace, the peridot in the middle winking in the dim light of the hallway.
He blinked at her then waved her over. "O'course. It's not an offer that has an expiry date, y'know?" Ulf gestured at the screen in front of him deprecatingly. "Like I said, just catchin' up on bad TV. Hahaha! Here, you want a pepperkaker?"

She'd been in a weird mood lately - ever since the Suguru Incident, actually, which he supposed was only natural. Still, he didn't have to like it. It was just that he had no idea what he could do to help. Everybody in this damned country was so close-mouthed about their feelings and problems, it made it hard to be properly nosy and help out like he was used to doing.
Kokoro settled down beside him and took the offered cookie. Fairly sure that Ulf wouldn't secretly feed her anything that was actually... meat (were there meat-based cookies? Now she wasn't sure...), Kokoro looked at the cookie and sighed tiredly.

He smelled good, and he was warm. Not only that, Ulf had big hands that were good for holding. She'd picked her cuddling companion well. "Thanks," she murmured, and instead of taking the offered pillow-seat, she moved his long legs apart and settled between them. She rested her head on his shoulder and put an arm around his waist.

There. The world was officially ten times better.
Well, that was certainly a bit...different, but then again, Kokoro had never been exactly shy. Ulf mentally shrugged, the hand free of delicious gingerbready goodness automatically moving to rub her back, just as he would for any of his darling younger siblings on a bad day.

"I can put something else on, if you want," he murmured, eyes watching the complicated and intricate lives of the characters on the screen. "Or maybe give it Japanese subtitles; not sure if this one has them or not..."
"Mrrrr," Kokoro grumbled and buried her face in his shoulder. "It's okay, it sounds kind of... nice, even if I don't understand it." The warm hand on her back felt good, and made her chest feel a little tight. This was almost as good as getting comfort from an actual boyfriend, even if Ulf was not.

No where near as good as a Dad!Cuddle, though, she knew. Kokoro breathed slowly and deeply, trying to untangle her own problems mentally, so she could consider how to bridge the Suguru Issue with him.

After all, how did you tell your friend you were attacked by a blood-sucking freak?
If Ulf had known what Kokoro was thinking about, he would have choked on his biscuit. That would be one hell of an awkward conversation, for sure. However he was as yet blissfully unaware and thus was content just snuggling up with his pink-haired classmate and watching shitty television. All in all, a good way to spend the afternoon, he felt.

He snorted softly into her hair (which smelled like delicious fruit - better than real fruit ever smelled or tasted, in his opinion). "Nao-chan said something similar the other day. I think foreign languages always sound kinda cool." Ulf thought on this for a moment before adding, "Well...maybe not stuff like Russian. That's a brutal language, for sure."
"I heard Ito-sensei was part Russian. I wonder what she'd say to that?" Kokoro laughed a little to herself, and turned her head to watch the Norwegians onscreen pantomime real life. "What are they all pissed off over?" she asked after minute. The cookie was good, but almost too sharp and spicy for her tongue.

Her mind whirled with thoughts, but in the end it all came back to Suguru, and needing to tell someone else. Her heart felt heavy and was weighing her down, weren't friends meant to help carry that wait (and call the police in case she vanished?)?
Ulf cackled. "I bet she'd play it up." He leaned around Kokoro slightly to grab his drink, unscrewing the lid one-handedly and taking a long gulp. It was hot today. Or maybe he was just being silly because there was a girl on his lap. The jury was still out.

He glanced at the soap opera. "Hmm, well." He pointed at one woman on the screen and proceeded to try and lay out the current storyline for Kokoro. "She's just come back from a month overseas to find out that her best friend - who was dating her brother's girlfriend on the sly, sneaky women - eloped with her boyfriend. BUT she's pregnant with that dude's kid. Or at least they think it is, actually it's some random dude's that she met in a bar who dateraped her." Ulf stopped for a breath. "Meanwhile, the brother is chasing after her boyfriend and his girlfriend/her ex-best-friend on some kind of psychopathic rampage. Though everybody else thinks he's just taken a trip to Majorca." There was more melodramatic screaming and ranting onstage. Ulf chuckled. "Kinda extreme, huh?"
Kokoro whistled low, impressed by the shenanigans of the soap opera. "That's... that's just... wow," she murmured. It was about then that she realized she had no idea where Majorca was, but decided not to ask. Kokoro nuzzled Ulf's neck and got comfortable again, making up mock-dialogue for the characters in her head.
"Heh." Ulf grinned. "I guess midday soaps are crazy in any language, huh?" Certainly all the English ones he'd ever seen were. And that Australian one, Home And Away, had his mother and older sister wholly addicted.
"Definitely," Kokoro agreed, lifting her head to answer, and her breath hitched across his ear. "There are some Japanese soaps like that, but all the good ones are the evening slot dramas." She laughed a little in his ear.

Distantly something told her that she was being a little cruel, but when was the last time she listened to that voice?
...she was doing that on purpose. She had to be. Ulf tried very, very hard not to notice, but, damnit, his ears were sensitive!! And it'd been months since he'd scored any action.

This wasn't fair. He was trying to be nice, and trying to bow to the Japanese way of life - which meant no boozed-up teens stumbling into bathrooms and shagging like mad every weekend, apparently - and then Kokoro came and climbed into his lap and breathed in his freaking ear and--

Grrrr. Said ear twitched virtually imperceptibly as Ulf clamped down on his control (and, damnit, the moon was waxing too - this was hard!) on his human form. Stupid irrational shapeshifting urges! GÅ VEKK!

"Ahh? I never seem to get to watch those," he managed, pleased that his voice didn't quiver. Stupid Kokoro!

[ooc: 'GÅ VEKK' is 'GO AWAY'. :3]
"No? They're good, sometimes. You just have to be careful you aren't watching too late at night," that was when the weird stuff came on, at home, but the school was too cheap for some of those channels.

Kokoro sighed against his ear and settled back again, quiet for a long time, and totally oblivious to Ulf's urges eating him alive. "Hey... Ulf-kun?"
He nearly whined when she did it again. Seriously, Ulf was half-tempted to throw her off his lap. But...she seemed like she genuinely needed the comfort. He didn't want to exacerbate her weird moodiness any further.

The long silence from her had lulled him, and he nearly jumped when she spoke again. "Ah..yeah? What is it?"
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